He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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