I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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