Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
