and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
