sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
