my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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