man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize