Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
