Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
