Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Did I show you my penis last night?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
