at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
