ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
