i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
