You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
