Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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