I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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