And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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