That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
