I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dick very happy bro
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
