My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
True strength comes from lack of pants
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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