The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
