Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
