What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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