I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I cut my penus on the lid.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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