Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
