I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I need moral support for this bender
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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