Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
did i just pee glitter
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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