ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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