ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
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