Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
