I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
