Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
