Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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