i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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