apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Someone signed my nipple.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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