I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
