my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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