Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
