i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
