i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
