And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
