Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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