areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
