I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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