Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
