Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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