wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
