We won't sleep together?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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