Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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