Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
