you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
