hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
