You made me cry and you don't even care
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
