I'm pants shitting drunk right now
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize