Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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