Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
