And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
