Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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