somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
