Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
