went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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