if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Randomize
